In 2012 I was at a low point in my life where I stopped listening to hardcore and punk music. I dove into a sad world of 1970's music like ABBA, and other horrible 70's AM radio type jams. This was my rock bottom as a music fan. What I really needed was someone or something to give me hope. A few years later, I discovered Girth Control. they were big, beefy, and real punk with attitude, bad jokes, ska influenced satire and energetic live shows. The members of Girth Control have asked WABY to keep their identities a secret for this interview. This band may have started as a joke, but for me Girth Control saved my life. The Girth have dropped new record and are playing a killer show at the Hangar on the Hudson in Troy on Saturday May 3. WABY met the band at a secret location, with bad lighting to chat all things Girth.
Ralph: Tell us about girth control 2025 and the new record?
Girth Control: 3/11/25, we released “Life’s Too Short Pt. II.”We’ve done a lot of dumb things in Girth Control, but a 7.5 minute epic single may be the dumbest. It’s our “Bohemian Nap-sody” - an attempt to put Girth Control’s ska/punk spin on the Meat Loaf and Queen hits we love to throw on the jukebox. The song was originally going to close out our 2024 album, “Life’s Too Short for Girth Control,” but we figured 25 songs is plenty for one album. The “Life’s Too Short Pt. II” release also includes three remixes of songs from our LP by old friends and new collaborators. We were truly honored to bring the world the first official Couchsleeper track. Chris Jordan (our forever bandmate in Public Access, The Slaughterhouse Chorus, timing) finally realized his EDM alter-ego on this dance remix of “Work Shirts.” Best bud Todd Richards (Rival Galaxies) contributed a spacey dub mix of “Neverending Coffee.” And real-deal Swedish producer Levia knocked a brand new big beat remix of “Beer Every Bong” out of the park. “Life’s Too Short Pt. II” is streaming in all the places and available for free download on our Bandcamp (girthcontrol.bandcamp.com)
Ralph: Pizza or Doritos? have you decided? Do you make your own pizza? What flavor Doritos? Doritos on pizza?
Girth Control: Originally the song idea was actually a marketing ploy in order for us to start selling our own prepackaged Dorito covered Boboli-style pizza crusts at the merch table alongside our Girth Control brand vocal margarita, but the fat cats at PepsiCo worked in cahoots with the State of New York and the Board of Health to shut us down. We’re hoping to get the operation back up and running by 2027, just need a few financial backers to float us $10-20k, maybe a cool entrepreneur who runs a local rock radio station? Ehhhhh?
Ralph: I am in for $10,000.00, you better be serious. Is there any long term touring in the band's future?
Girth Control: No long tours in the works for these old dudes, but we’re expanding our regional ska/punk boundaries this year with trips further down the east coast to places like Philly and DC. We’ve got a little Canada weekender in the works this summer too (so we can officially be Girth Control, international ska/punk band).
Ralph: What is the proper way to clean a bong?
Girth Control: We recommend that all bongs, beer or otherwise, never get cleaned. They’re like cast iron pans to be passed down through generations seasoned with all the resin and flavor of every party and every bong rip
Ralph: I have not done bong rips since last week while with the DANKERSEED family, Does weed help inspire? what inspires the epic anthems you have written.
Girth Control: As long as there are beers to drink, pizzas to eat, and circle pits to jump into, we’ll be inspired to write Girth Control hits.
Ralph: I am a retired circle pitter. Let's talk -Spring Thing.
Girth Control: We’re extremely stoked for this one! Kim Neaton is a wonderful old friend and a true gem of the local music scene. She’s bringing together a great lineup of the best of all genres in the 518, from hiphop to honkytonk to thrash to ska, all converging on the Hangar in Troy on May 3. We’re most excited for the return of Coupons- one of area’s all-time great bands (featuring Dan “Dick Rubin” Maddalone on the bass, another pal who recorded our first two albums for us). The AMs include the aforementioned Chris Jordan (aka Couchsleeper) and are the best country band in town, if not the planet. And that’s just two of the killer acts playing! Kim’s got two stages rocking all day at the Hangar in Troy, indoors and outdoors, with food from the Ale House and Wizard Burger. This will be a legendary day for local music and you honestly can’t afford to miss it.
Ralph: In the 1990s my friends and I used to make up fake porn names for ourselves. Did I ever tell you that I was named Girth Sherman?
Girth Control: We’ve been looking for a manager we can trust, and Girth Sherman seems like just the man for the job. Will he do it for 6.9% of Girth Control's profits?
Ralph: Manager???, I'm in, you better be serious.
